Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Baby Update

Dr. Tudder said everything was fine. His explanation: it's like when you have a nose bleed in the winter because the air is dry. Who knew our womanly organs were so much like the inner workings of our nostrils.

Well I am now down to my two week appointments, yay! Good, because I won't have to wait so long to see my doctor in between visits when I have my neurotic freak outs that something is horribly wrong. So far, I feel like a human punching bag only being beaten from the inside. My stomach, though it make look small is only an illusion, feels as if I swallowed a whale. Round ligament pain doesn't begin to describe the lower abdomen pain I've been feeling on an hourly if not minute basis. Of course it doesn't help that I am constantly bending over again and again to pick up little toddler toys that somehow magic get strewn across every floor surface. Since my contractions at the hospital I've been downing water (and other juices) as if we are about to go on a drought at any moment and henceforth I am spending more time in the bathroom than any other room in the house. Though most times I am feeling my bladder will explode only to sit on the potty and nothing happen!! Just the other day Mason was observing my potty time and told me that I could have jelly beans because I peed in the potty. Hmmm, am I being potty trained or is he? I can't tell anymore. Whoever designed the whole pregnancy scheme was seriously disturbed. Because honestly it is not amusing to be an adult and have to carry a change of clothes with you on the off chance you might sneeze, or laugh too hard causing you to pee on yourself. How lack of bladder control has anything to do with nurturing this baby from the womb I will never comprehend. I have started to swell and though I am not able to see for myself, I'm sure the dreaded blue twinkies have appeared. As if this wasn't enough TMI, my boobs feel as if they are constantly being squeezed by a vice and the slightest touch causes me to flip my switch into bitch mode.

Needless to say I am so over the nostalgia of creating life and counting down the days till this agony is finally over.

"By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant." ---Phyllis Diller

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