One little word: 2010

It seems so cliche to make New Years Resolutions. I stopped making them in college as I never managed to follow through longer than a week with any resolution I've made for myself. New Years or not.

Ali Edwards has been doing a tradition since 2007. Choosing a single word each January to focus on over the course of the year. I dig this concept. Despite my past failures with making resolutions I feel this one little word is something I could achieve. Resolutions are motivated by "shoulds" and to me have a negative connotation. I see as something I should be doing but am not, therefore, I have failed. One reason why they don't work for me. Words have energy and meaning. Full of intention which in turn is powerful. Ali says your word is meant to teach you about you, and enrich your life. Whether it be tangible, intangible, a thought, a feeling or emotion; the point is to choose a word that could positively impact your life.

I have put a lot of thought into my word this year. Done a lot of research. Made a list.

Patience.

Calm.

FearLESS.

Courage.

Simplify.

Today.

Faith.

The word Today came to me mostly after taking Ali's class. Seeing photos of my past, my families past. Seeing photos from my present. My children, my husband. Knowing that life so much shorter than we ever imagine it could be or will ever be. I want to enjoy this time these moments. Right now. I will never be here again. My kids will never be this young, this innocent, this loving, this honest as they are today. I will never be this young, this beautiful, this hopeful as I am right now. I want to savor this. To live in the moment and treasure what I have right in front of me everyday before it slips away. No longer clinging to the past or worrying about the future. Right here right now. It's what matters.

FearLESS came to me when I realized that I don't do things that I truly want to do out of fear. Fear that something will go wrong. Fear that I or Mason or Sophie will get hurt. Fear that I won't be liked. Fear that I will not be good enough, smart enough, strong enough. I no longer what to live my life in fear. But I know myself enough to realize that saying I will live without fear is impossible and unreasonable. So that is why I emphasize the LESS. Having less fear in my life. Seems more manageable. More doable. Therefore able to have more fun, be happier and enjoy life.

Patience was one of the first things that came to my mind when discussing my one word. AS well as Simplify. With two kids three and under you can imagine the chaos and turmoil I feel in my life. I want things to slow down. To be easier. I need to be able to let things go and not be so much in control. To have lots of patience with my children. When they misbehave, when they cry, when they struggle, when they learn. I get frustrated so easily and lose my cool way too often. More often than I should. So I need to learn to breathe, slow down, relax and stay calm.

In listing and discussing all these word I realized they all had something in common. Whether it be something I need to subtract or something I want to bring into my life they all had one unifying theme. And my word hit me. It encompassed everything I want/need in my life right now.

I need peace in my life. Mentally, emotionally, creatively and spiritually. I'm at a place I hate to be and there needs to be a change, a shift. It's not that I necessarily crave the absence of conflict in my life but the ability to cope with it. I found a great quote online.

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise,

trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things

and still be calm in your heart." --Unknown

This is exactly what I hope to bring into my life and reflect on my scrapbook pages and honestly my blog.

So as I go forth in the year twenty ten I look forward to the change that is possible and where my one little word will take me.