A mothers worst fear

The scene yesterday morning. Two kids under the weather, watching Tinkerbell and looking all to adorable doing it.

There are moments in every parents life when they truly get scared, I mean down to the core. I've experienced these moments twice. Once with each child. Mason's you can read about here, which thankfully ended with us figuring out he has my illness, Vaso Vagal Syncope. Sophie's turn was around 4am this morning.

This household has been going through the terrible icky sickies once again. It seems that every winter (or as I perused through my old posts, every January) we go through this. It starts off as a few coughs and stuffy/runny noses. Then it becomes all night coughing fits, followed by lethargic children and a Mom with a really sore throat, that sounds "funny" and is about to lose her voice all together.

So last night it was another sleepless night of coughing, body aches, and little children crying. I was quietly praying to myself that everyone get back to sleep when I heard it. A faint sound of choking and vomit coming from the monitor. I immediately went into mommy mode, jumping out of bed and running to her room. Standing in her crib and looking pathetic was my little girl. I gently picked her up and walked into the bathroom to clean her up. Seemingly better, but tired, I walked back into the nursery and put her down so I could grab the aspirator and suck out the nasty boogers that were clearly making it hard to breathe. Partway through she stumbled backward. Immediately I reached out and caught her just as she fell backward, eyes glassy, limp in my arms and proceeded to shake. That's when I panicked. Looking down at her pale, unresponsive face I screamed. As loud as I could with my loss of voice, "FRED! FRED!"

It only lasted a few seconds, long enough for me to be scared out of my mind and Fred to make it from our bedroom to the nursery. The tears were flowing and I struggled to catch my breath. Shortly after, Mason came walking in, my screams surely having woken him up. Of course he was concerned about Sophie, who at this point began to vomit. Thick, yellow, disgusting mucus. She was burning up and we made the decision to take her to the ER. So I threw some clothes on as fast as I could, packed the diaper bag, and grabbed our coats before rushing out the door, my little baby in arms. Luckily the Hospital is just up the road so it only took a few minutes before I was un-buckleing her from her car seat and running into the empty ER waiting room sometime shortly after 4am.

Sophie is nothing like her brother when it comes to doctor visits. She freaks out over everything. So I had to lay on the bed, holding her as they checked her vitals, took her temperature (102+), and put on the ID bracelet (which she hated worst of all). I tried to show her I had a matching one to calm her down but it was no use. They tested her for RSV, Flu and Strep. After what felt like forever waiting in the small room, t.v. on mute, the results came in. Negative on everything. So it's just a simple virus. The doctor then sat and discussed what he concluded as her having what they refer to as a simple febrile seizure. It was explained that a febrile seizure affects kids between ages 6 months and 3 years and is usually brought on by a high fever, 100.4 or higher and can last up to 15 minutes. It is the bodies way of protecting the brain when a virus hits. He reassured me that she has no brain damage and is not more likely to have epilepsy when she gets older. She does however, have a 25% chance of it happening again.

So around 6:30am, both of us tired out of our minds, we arrive back home and go back to sleep. We are to spend the day monitoring her fever, and making sure her fluid intake (water or pedialyte) is sufficient and she doesn't get dehydrated.

This truly was one of the scariest moments for me and I don't wish it upon anyone. To see your children suffering or in distress and feeling helpless and unknowing what to do to help is a tough place to be as a parent. We all want to believe that we have super powers and can fix any boo-boo and we all want to believe our children will be perfect. As I have learned and seen around me, this is never the case. Things happen that are beyond our control. All we can do is handle them the best way we possibly can, with maturity and composure. And don't forget to embrace the comfort of your family and friends as they only feed our strength in these moments.

For now, Sophia is doing fine. Her fever is down and she is currently napping. My fear has dissipated as I got the chance to sleep it off thanks to my hubby. My voice is worse, though talking with doctors all morning surely didn't help. Mason, well, he still has a fever in the 100's. So yes, he stayed home from school again today. Another week of only having school two days. He is currently napping as well though, can you imagine how hard it is to get a rambunctious little boy to just rest when he is sick? The resilience of these kids astounds me. Their ability to bounce back in the blink of an eye, jus amazing. I pray this is the worst of it for the year and we can all move forward and be healthy. That this weekend will bring with it, much needed rest and family time, to comfort and love and heal. So we can go back to peaceful nights and days filled with tiny laughter and a full week of school becomes the norm once more.

Well there you have it. Just another adventure in icky sicky land at the Briggs household. I think I'll head back to bed now.