December 4, 2008- Thursday
All I want for Christmas
All I want for Christmas:
I don't want any frivolous presents or cheap gimicks. I just want one thing this Christmas.
To spend one weekend alone with my husband away from everything and everyone. To get back to where it all started. I just want love and happiness.
October 9, 2008- Thursday
So I know I've been the biggest slacker lately when it comes to my blog. It quite possibly could be due to the fact that I have been on Facebook a lot because it's seems everyone has jumped ship to the other side. But it is also due to the fact that we have been so freaking busy around here. With the great news that we found someone to buy our old house (Yay!) we've been busy the last month getting all the rest of our crap out of the house and wondering where in the world are we going to put it here. The couple is older (in their 50's I assume) and they love the house and neighborhood. They are currently renting for 8-12 months and then will purchase the house at the end of that time period. The contract has been signed and money put in escrow so we are thrilled to have this burden off our shoulders, and to have some money coming in and not just constantly flowing out. Now we are looking to focus 100% on this house again. With Mason's 2nd Birthday looming in the future (only a few weeks away) we are desperate to at least get the main floor all put together. We finally got all the kitchen doors and drawers up! It only took us 7 months. What a nightmare it has been. Fred is now working on the baseboards and quarter round for the floor. Next will be the crown molding for the cabinets and the fake doors on the backside of the island. We just bought a new couch and love seat for the family room (now people will have a place to sit for the party) and our Master bathroom has a shower door so it's been in use for about two weeks now. So excited about it.
In other news, Mason is growing so much. Well let's say he is growing weight wise but not so much height. So he is already in 3t clothes and just about to bust out of the weight for them and looking to go into 4t here for the winter. If only his height would catch up with him. He is talking so much now and putting sentences together. He is really starting to turn into a little boy now. He loves to be outside 24/7, which means this is going to be a long winter for me. Already I am having to brave the cold weather of the early morning to be at the park with him at 9am. I swear he is the energizer bunny too. Don't know where he gets the energy. I am ready to pass out after an hour, and by 3pm in the afternoon I am useless. But he just keeps on going! Some exciting news is that Mason went pee-pee in the potty for the first time yesterday evening. He was freaking out about his diaper being on and wanted it off. He was yanking at it and I thought well maybe.... so I said why don't we try to sit on the potty. I asked if he had to go pee pee and he said "diaper off" so I took him into the bathroom took off his diaper and sat him on the baby Bjorn potty seat. I was smart enough to bring one of Mason's favorite books (ABC's of cookies) to read to him while he sat there. Halfway through the book I saw something in the potty and said Mason stand up, and there was pee. Yay! But I'm not entirely sure he knew what he did. I couldn't get him to repeat it for the rest of the evening, even though he insisted he had to pee and sat on the potty for what felt like hours with no results. In the meantime my dinner was getting cold. So far this morning he hasn't shown an interest. So I'm not sure what to do (being a virgin at potty training). I think I'll still try to encourage it but it's hard when he can't communicate that he has to pee to know when to put him on the potty. Plus I don't have all day to just sit there with him until he doesn't want to "pee" anymore. I have his party to plan, a house to clean, laundry to do, grocery's to buy, doctors to see and errands to run. I don't have enough time in the day to do all that when I don't have potty duty. How did you all do it? I could really use some advice. I also am curious how you do the transition to a toddler bed from the crib. We want Mason out of the crib by the time he is 2 and 1/2 years old. So in 6 months.
Well that is most of all that has been happening in our lives. Hope to see most of you at Mason's Party (by the way if you can't see the correction on the invite the date is Sunday November 2nd. Not the 3rd. I messed up the date without realizing it until I finished making them all so I just had to cross out the date by hand.). Time for lunch now, so gotta run!
lol. I remember both occasions (crib/bed and potty training). Don't rush him on the potty training...really kids aren't ready to even try until after their 2nd birthday, and only then if they are aware of having to pee and able to express that to an adult (usually it starts with them telling you that they ARE peeing, lol). Let him show you when he wants to be on the potty and not the other way around...there is NO RUSH. Katie wasn't trained until about 3yrs old, and not completely trained (nighttime comes later than daytime) until about 4yrs old. The second i stopped pushing her she figured it out on her own, much easier!
As for the crib/bed, let him come with you to shop for a "big boy bed" let him see the theme beds (so fun looking), and pick out one for his room. Be prepared for him to want to be in your bed ALOT for awhile since the big bed is scary at night (I slept finally on the floor in her room to get her used to her bed without being too scared)...i'm not going to lie, the transition is TOUGH for everyone involved and does take a few weeks...you just have to keep putting him back in his bed and staying in his room with him while he falls asleep (repeat during night), you will be exhausted, but it works in the end. GOOD LUCK!!!!
August 5, 2008- Tuesday
Learning to let go
Anybody who really knows me, knows that I have a teddy bear. This is my teddy bear:
His name is Cuddles. I've had him since I was 8 years old and he has gone just about everywhere with me, including college. Yes I know this might sound juvenile, but I have not spent an evening without my teddy bear in 21 years (except my honeymoon, and other vacations). It's my "lovie" (any of you with kids knows what I am talking about), my "security blanket". Yes, I know I am a little old to be having a security blanket and I should grow up, especially since I am an adult and have a child of my own. Fred has been trying to get me to get rid of Cuddles for years. I refused. I even managed to keep Cuddles away from Mason, that is until we moved to Ashburn. For the past month Mason has been insistent upon the fact that he cannot take a nap or go to bed without Cuddles. So it seems that my teddy bear is no longer my teddy bear and it's been a little hard for me to accept. I can no longer sleep at night (not that I slept all the well to begin with) because I don't have my teddy to hold onto. I know it's just a stuffed animal and nothing to cry about (I haven't cried just for the record. Just pouted a bit) but I feel somehow that I have lost a little part of myself (my childhood), but it kinda of puts a smile on my face to see Mason attached so much to something that was mine for so long. In fact right now he is hugging him and saying "cuuuullls" (that's how he says Cuddles). I tried one night to sneak Cuddles back into my room but alas it didn't work. Mason was very close to throwing a fit and I caved in. So I am now learning to say good-bye and letting go of a much loved childhood friend. I have to say that as Mason grows up, he is also teaching me in some ways, how to grow up even more than I have.
Does anyone else have a childhood toy that they have kept for so long and are having to learn to say good-bye to? I'd love to hear your story.
my bears name is fuzzy, katie has been forbidden from playing with him or touching him ;-) I did let her take him with her on her first sleepover, which really helped her fears since she knew how much i loved him (and therefore her). Really it's just another way for Mason to connect with YOU since he knows how much you love that bear...and therefore he wants to love that bear too. Its the first in a long line of things to come that your kid (soon to be kids!!! congrats!!!) will take and say it is now theirs (katie has my first cabbage patch kid, pound puppy, ETC)...it will be ok :)
I still have my baby blanket, too. I havn't slept with it since, maybe...my freshman year of college, but I refuse to let it go. It's my baby blanket!!!! I felt like I gave up a lot of my youth when I moved to Chesapeake. It seems that every time I move lately, I downsize and I have to get rid of more and more. I miss some things, but...it's the memory of having them that means more than actually having them.
I wish you luck in letting go of cuddles, but know that cuddles is still in the family and has served you well.
July 22, 2008- Tuesday
So I do generally love my new neighbors. They are all really nice. But last night we got to know just how crazy one of our neighbors can be. I'm sick (feeling like total ass and tempted to go to the doctor but don't know what they'd be able to do for me) so sleeping isn't so easy and I value it since I don't get to during the day. We went to bed fairly early last night (10pm). I was actually sleeping and possibly even dreaming when I heard what I thought was the doorbell. "Ding Dong" I opened my eyes but nothing, so I closed them again and tried to go back to sleep. Then, "Ding Dong", there is was again. This time Fred turned to me and asked, "was that the door bell?" I looked at the clock this time: 12:57am. What!? Who the hell would be knocking on our door at one o'clock in the f*ing morning. Thinking I was just hallucinating again I waited before getting out of bed. But then there it is again, "ding dong." Fred and I get out of bed, he struggling to put some pants on. I look out the big window of our two-story foyer and see a woman. Then I hear knocking. So I start to head down the stairs, Fred is telling me not to open the door but all I am thinking is that damn door bell is loud and Mason is sleeping (actually sleeping through the night now that he isn't hacking up a lung while he sleeps). She looks like one of our neighbors but I can't see her face. I open the door and see a white poodle and then realize it is Brenda, our direct neighbor to the right. I'm not sure what is going on and start to get concerned. She then tells me our garage door is open. WHAT!? I thank her and she leaves, and I go close the garage door. When I get upstairs Fred says, "you got to be kidding me. She knocks on our door at 1am to tell us our garage door is open?" I give Fred a I am too tired to mull over this right now though I am a little pissed I just got woken up for that, turn of the light and try to go back to bed.
*****Mason is doing the cutest thing right now. He blowing he nose of his Mater ride on toy. This is after he saw me blowing my nose and decided to blow his own nose. I guess he figured Mater needed it too. LOL! And now he holding the tissue up to his lovie and blowing. Guess his lovie needs his nose blown too! Gotta love kids!!--Just had to share that because it was so freaking cute. *****
I don't know WTF was my neighbor thinking. Would you go knocking on your neighbor’s door at 1am to tell them to close their garage door? Maybe if you were INSANE!!!!
July 21, 2008- Monday
So I know I tend to over-react or maybe it's more of reacting before thinking things through or really understanding and dealing with situations. I have to say that I believe my previous blog was a perfect example of that. Don't get me wrong, I am really upset and frustrated with all the things that have been going wrong with the new and old house and it is just getting ridiculous at this point. I mean how much bad luck can one family/person have? And our finances are hurting. Mostly because we have just about all of our money tied up in our old house, which is why we are so desperate to sell it now. Would have liked to have rented it out and waited till the market picked up so we could re-coup all we put into it, but as life always does it threw us a curve ball and we need the money sooner than expected. Yes I will have to learn to curb my shopping habits (I like buying things for Mason); we will have to limit our meals out, and our activities. But you do what you need to do. Not that we ridiculously spend money, but we still have a lot to do with the new house. We need furniture for the living room, we still haven't built the bar in the basement or fixed up the bathroom in the basement, need drawer pulls for the kitchen. I'm desperate to have this place put together so we can finally have some company over and show it off and just have friends and family over to hang out. Maybe the end of August or September (*crossing my fingers*). Well now I am going to try to get rid of this horrible cold (or whatever it is) and get some rest. Hahahhaha-like that is ever gonna happen with a toddler running around.
July 17, 2008- Thursday
Why, for the love of God, why?
So on top of Mason being ill and having put our old house on the market and attempting to settle into the new house while still doing the final touches of remodeling, it seems we have stumbled into the seventh circle of HELL!!! I officially declare this new house the MONEY PIT!! So you know we put the old house on the market. We've had a lot of showings and a few interested so we are going to have an open house this weekend. Well to prepare Fred decided to have the house professionally cleaned to make it look real nice. Well the people I hired charge a crazy price ($47/hr. per person) but I had them cap it at 4 hours ($168), which is close to the cheapest price I got anywhere else (but they didn't have a good service record). Unfortunately like all things they took longer than the 4 hours (hadn't even done the basement when 4 hours hit) so I had to choice but to have them go over. The place needed to be cleaned and Fred and I just don't have the time. So that was $210 down the drain. Then we have a fly problem at the old house, everywhere in the basement and the garage. Well we can't have swarms of flies everywhere while trying to sell the place so we had a pest company come in and spray for that: $150. Then the hot water heater in our new house wasn't working (our hot water was like non existent so we turned it up a bit and then the water just kept draining out). Had someone out to look at it and he said that the water pressure was up really high so he turned it down and that should help but that the pressure release valve could be faulty and the expansion tank bladder could have ruptured but you are taking at least $400 to fix that and our unit is 10 years old (usually the time frame of the life of a hot water heater) so he suggested that we just wait and replace the whole thing when the time comes. Also had a leak in our kitchen sink so had to have that fixed as well: total $227. On top of that the A/C unit downstairs started to leak. We thought it was the filter (which was really dirty) so we replaced it. Four days later, it leaked again. So we had someone come out to check on it. Result was that there was a p-trap for the drainpipe and it got all clogged (totally nasty and pack in) and tons of water. The fix was easy (Fred could have done it) just take out old pvc and put new one in minus the p-trap: $80 just for the visit and $70 for the pvc fix (talk about ripping you off), Total $150. Then today we have people out to clean out the air ducts in the house since we've been doing all that construction and dust has been flying everywhere. It will take them 4 hours to complete and total $560. While they were up in the attic (have a dual climate zone, so a unit in the attic and in the basement) they saw that our unit upstairs is leaking water. OH YAY!! (Being totally sarcastic). I just want to break down and cry (but can't cause the duct people are here and don't want to cry in front of them). So we just had the A/C people out yesterday and now we have to have them out again which is going to be another $80 for the second visit and whatever it costs to fix the problem. Do I hear a ca-ching of my bank account totally emptying out? YES! And it didn't have much money in it to begin with. Meanwhile we still have all the bills and mortgages to pay on both houses, along with day-to-day groceries, supplies, gas, etc. I am now realizing my hopes of having another baby are being sucked away like all the dust. How can we afford another baby with all this maintenance we are having to do with the house that is costing a fortune? Financially I don't think we can do it anymore. And I am seriously wondering if we can even afford this house anymore. I feel so overwhelmed and lost and alone and don't know what to do. This was not how I pictured our dream house, in our dream neighborhood. Everything seems to be falling apart and we are unable to stop it. I gotta wonder with all the crap with the old house (the a/c unit busted there too recently) and now the new house, if we are being tested. And if we are can God please stop now!!!! I thought I was strong and could handle whatever was thrown at us but am seriously starting to doubt myself. Call me crazy but I am thinking maybe I wasn't meant to have another child or for us to have such a nice house. I'm not much of a believer but maybe this is a sign telling us we want too much. Or maybe I'm just having a pity party for myself. Either way, I don't know if I can emotionally survive with any more things going wrong.
Please God, if I am a good person, send help. Or relief.
I feel your pain on the continuous cycle of things going wrong and money vanishing. I just bought a house down in Chesapeake. It was built in 1953, so it's not new. Our plan was...rip up carpet, put in hardwood floor, DONE!.
This is what happened: Ripped up carpet, ripped off paneling...found rotted drywall and underneath that found beams and studs that were nearly disintegrated from previous termite damage. So Mike replaced the studs and beams, got new drywall, we also had to put in insulation (because there was none). In order to put down hardwood, we had to grind the old floors down so that there was a smooth surface. In the kitchen, we took the old cabinets out so that we could put the hardwood under them, but they were so old they nearly fell apart, so new cabinets. We decided while we're at it, we'll rearrange the layout, so need new countertop because the old one isn't long enough now. The stove was damaged, so new stove. Our hotwater heater looks old as dirt, so soon that will need to be replaced, (i've been told that tankless water heaters are a decent tax right off). We also need to replace the 20/30 year old washer/dryer thats in the house. etc. etc.
I've been crying to my mom trying to figure out how I"m going to make my first mortgage payment, I've gone through EVERYTHING I have. Maxed out my credit card and opened a couple of new ones.
So I understand to an extent what you're going through. I have faith that everything will work its way out...Only because it does no good to think that everything's going to suck for forever. I hope everything works out for you and sooner rather than later. When the time is right, you will have another baby. Right now, figure out how to take care of you. Good luck!!!!
July 14, 2008- Monday
So once again Mason is sick with a fever and a really bad cough. He has allergies, no shocker since Fred is his father. So for the last two weeks he's been sneezing, runny nose, and an occasional cough. No fever or anything and since both Fred and my allergies have been acting up we chalked it all up to allergies again. Then last night happened. After our "adult time" of watching Netflix in the basement we headed to bed around 11pm. Mason's cough was sounding kinda bad on the monitor so I checked on him before heading to bed. He was extremely hot, constantly swallowing and having what sounded like a barky cough (oh lord been there before with croup). Naturally I was a little concerned so we decided to take his temp just in case. Well his temp was a high 103.2. All I could think was, how many times are we going to be making a trip to the ER this year? But we made the executive decision to just give him some Motrin and monitor his coughing and breathing through the night and see how he was in the morning.
After waking up I checked his temp and it was back down to 97.8. Phew! But his cough was still a bit barky so I took him to the doctors anyway. They said it was hard to tell if it is a virus or an infection. His ears are clear and his throat is not red or swollen but his lungs sound crackly. I was given a prescription to only fill if his fever comes back (101 or greater), with instructions to just monitor him all day and make sure he gets plenty of fluids. I did my best to give him fluids, but he is being so picky these days. Not only with what he wants to drink, but also as to what sippy cup he wants it in. Geez, is he a toddler or what? But so far his temp only got up to 100.5 so I have been giving him Tylenol every 4-6 hours to try to bring that down. Otherwise he is running around, laughing and being a normal boy.
I'm hoping he gets better soon. Wanted to take him to the pool, now that we have one in our neighborhood and have passes to go. Even bought one of those inflatable rider things that is of course a car. Nothing else would be sufficient for a Briggs boy. Well it's "adult time" now so gotta run. Especially if I want baby 2 to arrive by spring...
July 6, 2008- Sunday
Category: goals, plans, hopes
So now that we have moved into the new house and put our old one on the market we've officially made the decision to have 2. Unfortunately it is not going as I had hoped. It's much harder, for me at least, to get pregnant the second time around. Of course this time I am not doing the temping like I did last time. I feel it is so much work and I just don't have the time with Mason. But after two months off BC and two months of thinking I am pregnant (due to late aunt flo or certain symptoms I felt) and then being let down when the test came back negative I am getting seriously frustrated and crushed each time. The perfect spread I feel is having the new baby born when Mason is 2.5-3 years old. So this means I need to get pregnant NOW!!!! Also now with all my friends being or getting pregnant it makes me feel horrible and depressed. Like somehow I won't be able to do it this time. Maybe it sounds selfish that I am jealous of my friends who are pregnant right now. But I can't help it. I wanted two kids and I don't want to wait too long. I will be 30 next year and the older you get the harder it is on your body. I just worry because it was so easy the first time around (pregnant the first month trying) and now it is not working. Everyone talks about how it is so much easier to get pregnant the second time around, but for some reason not for me. :-( I keep hoping though and we still have some more time left. Crossing my fingers.
In other news, the house is coming together. We are starting to get the cabinet doors up in the kitchen. Will start to focus on the master bath here soon so we can get it functional. YAY! I know you all have been asking for photos but I want to wait till it is all completely done before posting some after shots of all we have done. I am hoping to have it all done by August so we can have a house-warming party and let everyone finally see all the hard work we've put in for the last 4 months. Whew!!!
Here's to hoping both my wishes come true in the next two months!!!
June 12, 2008- Thursday
Air conditioning woes
So around this time last year our a/c unit busted and of course it was record heat then and Mason was only a baby. Well I ended up getting a brand new a/c unit for my birthday, out of it. Woohoo! (Not really). Now, a year later, the unit hasn't seemed to be working so well the last few days. Getting up to 75 degrees despite the a/c being on and set to 69 degrees. Well today while doing laundry I found water under the a/c unit and saw that it was leaking from an area near a pipe. So I called the a/c people who installed our unit. Two hours later they showed up and as soon as he saw the leak he knew what was wrong. He opened the section where the coil is and there was a huge block of ice all around it! *FUCK* Been there done that with our unit at Andrew's Place (the townhouse), it practically flooded our basement getting it to melt. The culprit was the filter, which was clogged. Well the guy said we'd have to turn the a/c unit off and only run the fan until all the ice melted, which he said would take till about 9am tomorrow morning. Good Lord!! So immediately headed out to Home Depot and bought a new filter and have placed towels around the a/c unit to try and keep the water from reaching the carpet. It is now 78 degrees in the house and it feels so freaking hot in here. I have Mason down to his diaper and I’m thinking about just running around in my underwear too. The part that really pisses me off though is that the a/c people charged me $105 dollars for the visit!!! WTF!!! He didn't do anything!!! He just opened up the unit took out the filter and turned off the a/c unit (all of which I could have done myself). He didn't even put in the new filter we will be doing that ourselves. So I ask you, what exactly cost $105 freaking dollars!!! And why is it that every service out there: lawn service, pest control, plumbing, HVAC, etc. feels that they can screw us over for having done nothing at all? It’s outrageous. Needless to say I will be so happy once we are in the new house (already had that a/c unit serviced when we bought the place). I pray that there will be minimal 102 degree days until this problem is solved and that we (or rather Mason) can survive the night without over heating (his bedroom is above
June 3, 2008- Tuesday
So some friends have tried to urge me to get on FaceBook because they said it is much better. Well the other day I tried it out. Honestly I like Myspace much better. It is easier to navigate and to find friends, and a lot more user friendly. Plus you can do so much more on Myspace, like blog and add videos. So I don't know what people are talking about. Myspace is the better of the two. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
May 29, 2008- Thursday
Current mood: numb
So I went to get two cavities filled today. I was so nervous and on the drive over I kept telling myself how horrible it was the last time and that I vowed to never have a cavity again. But now here I am with two more. sigh. This time though, I didn't have my husband or my teddy bear with me, and it made me wonder if could do it alone. For those who know about my needle phobia and condition called "Vaso Vagal" you can imagine what I was feeling. Happy to report though that I handled it well. Even my dentist was impressed. Unfortunately they did find on a previously filled tooth that I have a crack down the center; probably what has been causing my sensitivity to cold things. My dentist thinks it is caused by me grinding my teeth, but since there was a previous cavity, and a really big one; Fred said she hollowed out practically my entire tooth, she thinks I might need a crown. On top of that she said that if I am going to get a crown she might recommend that I get a root canal as well. But she wants to take an x-ray of the tooth again just to see before she tells me to get one because she knows it will be hard for me. Crossing my fingers that I won't need a root canal. But now I feel like I had a stroke or something cause my mouth is still numb and I can't move the left side. I can't blow (as in blow off the food for Mason cause it's too hot. get your mind out of the gutter!), or drink from a straw or glass, and it feels weird when I chew and when I talk. Hoping it goes away soon.
In other news regarding teeth, Mason has two molars now with the third getting ready to pop through. Probably why he has been a bit cranky and sucking on everything in sight lately.
Hope everyone out there is well!
May 28, 2008- Wednesday
Update on house
Current mood: aggravated
So we are getting near the end but not there yet. The master bathroom is in the process of being tiled. After we ended the day on Monday we had 1/3 of the shower completed and started on the bathtub area. We still have the stair rail to polyurethane and finish cutting and installing the balusters, some touch up paint here and there, remove the caulk from the full bath upstairs and in the basement; clean the grout and re-caulk, then sand and paint the kitchen cabinets and install the doors. Then I believe we can have the carpet installed followed by the hardwood. In the meantime we still have to pack up our stuff here (which is hard when you have a toddler who follows behind you and unpacks everything you just packed) getting ready for the move. So it looks like it won't be until mid June that we will be moving in at the earliest. Which is a bummer because I want to get our current house on the market so we can stop paying two mortgages. I am worried that if we don't get into this house soon we be pretty close to broke. Our savings has sadly been dwindling (which we worked so hard to build up over the last 6 years) and it's breaking my heart. I know in the long run this will work it's self out and prove to have been the right decision for us but right now it's so hard to live through.
May 6, 2008- Tuesday
Guess who caught Mason's virus
Current mood: sick
So of course I guess it was inevitable that I would get the virus too. I mean that is how life works right? Argh. So I spent all day yesterday with my head in the toilet, 8 hours of feeling like ass, because I only had breakfast that day and somehow my body still thought there was stuff to throw up, and to do so violently. I was soooo sick that my whole body ached (my back, my chest, my arms, my legs) and I couldn't sleep I was so in pain. Finally after having kept my stomach acid down I took some Tylenol and started to feel better. Funny that I didn't have a fever either. So now I am trying to keep down ginger ale and some crackers, which so far is going good. I am downing Tylenol and so far it is making the pain from the aching subside for a bit. Hopefully I will be able to be "normal" by tomorrow and actually eat some real food. I tell you I do not wish this virus on anyone, it is nasty and I have never felt this horrible since I was a little girl.
May 4, 2008- Sunday
ER Blues Redux
So exactly a week later we find ourselves back in the ER. Mason was good all week and was even fine all day Saturday at Grandma's while we worked on the house. We got home that evening and Mason throws up. Not much, so not worried. Then 15min. later he does it again. Then again. Now he is so cranky he just wants to go to bed and not even eat dinner or drink anything. Once in bed about 30min. later he vomits again and this time it is everywhere. NASTY!!! And he is freaked and upset. So we give him a bath, and I do laundry one more time and put him back to bed. About 15min. later he vomits again. After this we decide to bring him downstairs with us to help keep an eye one him. In the meantime, after last weekend I'm nervous about him having a bad fever again but every time I have checked his temp was below 99 degrees. So no fever but for the next few hours he proceeds to just vomit every 30 min. Worried he might dehydrate because he won't drink anything either I call LSFP and talk to the on call doctor. She suggests that it is more than just him getting mucus out of his system and that we should take him to the ER if it continues any longer. Sure enough it does. So off to the ER once again. This time we don't arrive until 11pm. He doesn't get any medicine (they gave him zofran) until a little after 1am. Of course he vomits again after taking it but at 1:45am the nurse thinks it might have got into his system and says to try giving him Pedialyte. So we have to wake him up to get him to drink, which he finally does. But we have to limit his intake, only 1oz. every 10-15 min. They don't want him chugging and then throwing it all up. So if he keeps down just the Pedialyte for 8 hours then we can start him on a bland diet. Arriving home around 2:30am totally exhausted we finally get some sleep but it doesn't last long. While Mason kept all the Pedialyte down for the rest of the night he wakes up at 8:30 and Fred and I are exhausted and not looking forward to hard days work at the house. But we bite the bullet and drop Mason off at Grandma's with specific instructions to only give him Pedialyte (and only 1 oz. every 15min.) and to only give him a bland diet (saltines, goldfish, potatoes, rice, bread, etc.). Happy to say he did very well today. No vomit (YAY!!) and was very active, mowing the lawn with his bubble lawn mower and taking a very good 2 hour nap. He even did well on the ride home and went to bed no problem. So far still doing good and I am actually looking forward to getting some sleep tonight. I am just drained after working extra hard today to make up for the time we lost with Mason being sick. But we have Mason's big boy room and the Nursery totally painted. The Master bath is almost completely gutted and the stair balusters are going in. So we are making progress. Slowly but surely. With Mason being sick for two weekends in a row has really slowed us down so I think if we could get some help it would be fantastic but we will continue to work hard every weekend until it's done. I just pray that Mason continues to get better and doesn't have any more weekend trips to the ER. The doctor thinks it is possibly a continuation of the virus from last week and that he probably got it from someone at his gym class. All I got to say is whoever keeps bringing their kid to class sick: STAY HOME DAMN IT!!!!! Argh!
Oh my gosh girl! What a roller coaster you have been on these last couple of weeks!!! I'm sorry I haven't been there... I think about you a lot and really want to get there to see that house! I will come, I promise I promise I promise. Take care girl and get some sleep! The house will be there...
April 29, 2008-Tuesday
So once again we took Mason to the ER at Loudoun Hospital this past weekend. He had a fever of 104.7 and it took quite a bit for it to come down. He was so hot; Fred was sweating just holding him. Looking back it almost seems obvious that he had the fever on Friday, but at the time we thought it was just him overheating because it was 80 degrees outside, and all he wants to do is be outside 24/7 now that the weather is warmer. He was extremely hot and a little lethargic (but we had been outside almost all day Thursday and practically all day Friday as well. Not to mention his room is the hottest in the house, so it's hard to cool it off, and he didn't want to eat dinner, but he became very active and funny at the end of dinner; laughing and playing. Also on Saturday at my moms, he was playful (went to the park) took a good nap and ate a good lunch and dinner. I feel horrible, that somehow I have failed as a mother because I should have known that something was not right with my son and checked to see if he was ill. My poor little boy, he suffered for two days and no one knew. The only reason I suspected anything was wrong was after he threw up (and I mean a lot) in the car on the way home Saturday. But still even on the ride to the hospital he was watching his DVD in the car and laughing. Hard to believe this boy was running a fever very close to 105 degrees (unless you touched him). He also won the "cute award" at the hospital. The nurse was just enamored with him. Every time they took his temp, gave him medicine, took an x-ray, shoved a q-tip down his throat to test for strep he would constantly say: "all done" (pronounced ah dah) when it was over. Oh it just breaks your heart doesn't it? But he was a trooper and it seems that it was only a virus (THANK GOD!). I am happy to say that so far today he has seemed to have fought off the fever so I think the virus might be gone. He just loves to keep Fred and I on our toes. And boy does he have excellent timing for getting sick...
Holy crap girl!!! I'm so glad to hear he's ok. Whew, how freaked out you must have been. But I'll tell ya, my kids do the same thing... you'd hardly even know they were sick most of the time! They just won't slow down, not for anything. So don't feel guilty, we've all been there, and likely will be there again. You're not the only one with a sick kid that doesn't act sick!
So sorry I haven't seen you in a while... work has been absolutely crazy but after next week I should get my life back. As a matter of fact, while I sit here at 1:20 am writing this to you, it's because I just finished working, yes, working, and need to go to bed. So now I have time to check up on my friends - but maybe I should be sleeeeeeeeping. I might be delirious... who knows :)
April 20, 2008- Sunday
Hell week is finally over
Current mood: accomplished
Hell week is finally over!
So we've spent the whole week working on the house. Fred took off work, so did my mom so she could watch Mason, and we busted our asses everyday till about 6pm. But I think it has paid off and allowed us to get that much closer to our June 1st move in goal (or close to thereabouts). The hallway on the main level is painted, the half bath is painted, the hallway upstairs is painted, all the bedrooms are painted, just need a little touch up in Mason's room. We still have the floorboards and moldings around the doors to do. Coffered ceiling is done and looks spectacular (Fred is a miracle worker), and most of the stripes are done in the dining room. We have the columns left to caulk and paint and a second coat of paint needs to be done in the living room (ran out of the tea cookie paint). Fred started to cut out the balusters on the stairs and sanding the railings so we can stain them to match the hardwood floor. The new iron balusters have been ordered and I am going to order the kitchen cabinet doors tomorrow. Once the doors arrive we can match the paint and get the cabinets painted and the doors on. Then the walls in the kitchen need to be painted as well. We still have to decide what tile we want in the master bath and how we want to lay it out, and then start demolition and putting it together. Also need to decide how we want the bar in the basement. Knowing we can't get it all done ourselves on time so we have had to bite the bullet and hire my nephew to help paint. He is going to paint the entire basement and some of the ceilings (he has a paint sprayer so it should go faster). We are also going to order the carpet this week. We also need to figure out what to do with the deck. The wood isn't pressure treated and some of the railings are loose and gapping apart. We might have to hire someone to fix that too-I feel my savings starting to disappear already :( We already have a professional coming in to do the two-story foyer and fix some rot on the outside of the house. I tell you everything these days costs a pretty penny. Its just heart breaking. We also still need to purchase new appliances (and you know those are not cheap!) OH LORD!!! But I keep telling myself it's going to look so spectacular when it's done and I am already seeing exceptional results. This is the house we are going to be in for a really long time so I feel all this hard work is worth it (even if it is killing us right now).
Here is a before during and after set of photos of the coffered ceiling:
[PICTURES HAVE SINCE BEEN REMOVED FROM MYSPACE. WORKING ON FIGURING OUT WHICH PICTURES WERE ORIGINALLY INCLUDED.]
Sorry the pictures aren't bigger I tried but don't know what is going wrong.
Now it's time to rest and catch up on chores at our current house. Phew! My job is never done!!!
Wow! The dining room looks great! You guys are doing an awesome job!!
April 7, 2008- Monday
Picture of house
So for those who are curious I took a photo of the outside of our new house today. It was looking better now that the trees have started to bloom. It is still in need of curb appeal but not totally unbearable.
[PICTURES HAVE SINCE BEEN REMOVED FROM MYSPACE. WORKING ON FIGURING OUT WHICH PICTURES WERE ORIGINALLY INCLUDED.]
April 14, 2008- Monday
Weekend 3 and the BIG work week
Holy Shit!! This is so much damn work and Fred and I are going full steam ahead while running on empty. As Fred works on the coffered ceiling which is close to being done (he has 5 of the 8 insets mostly done) I have been priming and painting (now that most of the spackling is finally done!). So far I have the nursery completely painted, the master bedroom has one coat (and looks fabulous and elegant in the color we chose) and the family room has been started (after much debate on the color, which will be throughout the main level of the house and hallway upstairs, I finally decided on the original color we chose. Though only after trying out two other colors). The main level bath and the study are primed. What is so time consuming is the taping off of everything (the doors, windows, ceiling, etc.) and it is tiring climbing up and down the ladder. We have 9ft. ceilings on the main level so I need a really tall ladder to reach the top. You don't realize how much square footage is in the house until you start painting and realize you just scratched the surface after 18 hours of non-stop painting. I don't think I will ever get this paint off my hands. LOL! I still have the living room, dining room, Mason's room, the guest bedroom, the kitchen, the hallways, the entire basement, the master bathroom, the basement bathroom, the laundry/mud room, and study left to paint. Phew! Let me take a breath. I am tired just talking about it.
Other things that got done today: the radon guys came out and drilled holes into the outside wall of our house and installed a fan and huge downspout to the side of the house. It's not great looking but we will now be radon free and no one will get sick so it's totally worth it. If I didn't mention it before we had a radon test done during our home inspection and found that there were extremely high levels of radon, but Northern Virginia is one of the top areas for high amounts of radon so it didn't shock us that we had it. The carpet guys came out and measured. So things are moving along. We have made incredible progress so far but still have a long way to go. I can't wait to get the carpet out though cause the basement smells like dog piss still (*throw up*)-one reason why I haven't painted down there yet. But it will be the last thing to go in.
*On a funny note. We realized today we have a theme in our remodeling. The main color of the house is "Tea Cookie", the basement color is "Butter Cookie" and the carpet is "Cookie Dough". Hmmm could we be hungry for cookies?
Anyway I need to get some sleep, we have a long week ahead of us. Those who are local feel free to stop by and check out the progress. We will be there all this week and of course every weekend until it’s done. I do have pictures just need to take a break at some point and post. Ok, need a shower now. Good night!
April 7, 2008- Monday
Week two update
End of week two and the hard work is starting to take its toll. We finally got the entire floor up and to the dump (all 7500 lbs of it). Just about all the walls have been spackled and sanded and are ready to prime and the coffered ceiling has been started. We had planned to work till 6pm on Sunday but found ourselves just so exhausted that we called it a day at 5pm. I am so sore right now. My neck is starting to feel better and I can almost lean it to the left now, I feel it won’t fully heal till all this work is over. So for the coming week we are hoping to work on the coffered ceiling and hopefully starting to paint the walls. *Crossing my fingers* I will try to post some pictures, though there aren’t many. Until next week...
March 31, 2008- Monday
Step 4: Fixing up the house (2 month process - we hope)
So we just closed on the first weekend of hard labor in our process to fix up the new house. It went surprisingly well. Mason and I stopped by the house after his gym class on Friday morning to see how things were going. The two gas leaks had been fixed (and the plumber said that he didn’t believe in conspiracy theories but that in order for the joints to have been as loose as they were someone had to have worked on them pretty hard to loosen them. Hmmm seems like the previous owners tried to sabotage us) and most of the tile in the foyer had been ripped up. I decided to give it a try (banging away at the tile) and loved the demolition so much we stayed and helped demo the floor the rest of the day. The HVAC guy came out and serviced both the units in the house (it has a dual climate zone). Found out that they jerry rigged the unit upstairs so we can’t turn it on. If we turn on the heat the AC automatically comes on as well, so we need a new thermostat for upstairs. The circuit board for downstairs was the wrong kind and had to get that fixed and some other stuff. It cost another chunk of change. The hardwood got delivered and it is GORGEOUS!!!! We also had CertaPro come by and give us a quote for all the work to the outside of the house (fixing wood trim, painting and the deck) and it was cheaper than the previous quote we got from another guy. So it was a productive day. Saturday we went to Home Depot and got our kitchen cabinet doors ordered, which drained most of the day. By the end of Sunday we had all the tile ripped up, except the half bath, and most of the backer board. We made two trips to the dump (a total of 1800lbs.) already and have more to make. I went through and took out all the nails and screws in the walls and then spackled all the holes. Still have some of the basement left to do, but I was all spackled out by 5pm. You can’t possibly imagine how many freaking things they had stuck in the walls for pictures or what not. Good Lord! Fred also got some of the recessed lighting done in the family room. So we are off to a good start and hope we can keep this momentum up for the next two months.
The best part about this weekend was meeting our new neighbors. Friday, during a break I went out to the car to get Mason some juice and saw a few ladies standing across the street. They noticed me and called me over, inquiring if I was the new owner of the house. They were so excited to know that we are moving in. They gave me the low down of the whole neighborhood: who has kids, who are the good babysitters, where the good tot lots are, etc. They also let me know that the mothers have "happy hour" every Friday in our court during the summers, and since this Friday was a nice day they had a bottle of wine ready to start and gave me a glass, and they let Fred know he should be home early on Fridays so I could participate. Also the court behind us has fireworks on the fourth of July and everyone shows up. There are so many kids here and a lot of boys to boot. So far we have met two families across the street, the family behind us, our two direct neighbors, and two more down the street. One of which is a scrapbooker!!!! Woohoo!!! So I spent an hour or two outside chatting it up with the women, most of who are stay at home moms, and drinking wine. I already felt so welcome and they are way more social then our current neighbors. I can’t believe how much we lucked out in such a wonderful neighborhood!!! It’s perfect! Just what we were looking for, I’m so excited to hurry and get the house done and move in.
This coming weekend we’ll be at the house again working our butts off. If anyone can come help we have a lot of stuff left that needs to be done (pergo needs to be ripped up in the master bedroom, walls need to be sanded and primed, etc.). Keep you all updated as it continues...
You should post some before, during, and after pictures so we can see the great progress and all the hard work you are doing! We bought a foreclosure that was pretty messed up and I regret not taking the before pictures but I was just too anxious to have it look good I forgot. Good luck with all the work, if I lived closer I would definitely come help!
March 31, 2008- Monday
Step 3: Closing
So for those who don’t know we finally went to closing Thursday. We had our walkthrough at 1pm and found that there was still a bunch of junk in the garage along with a car and some more junk in the tool shed out back. We had to make a negotiation with the realtor that they had till 6pm tonight to have it all out or else we get $1000. But other than that everything went ok and the house is ours!!!! Oh yeah, we went to home depot directly from closing and had all the locks on the house changed. Now the adventure begins!
March 19, 2008- Wednesday
Step 2: Inspection
So we just had the inspection yesterday and things seemed to go fairly well. We weren’t told too much more than we already knew. The things we found out are easy fixes and not too expensive so it looks like we are going ahead with it. Closing is next week. The only thing is that one of the tenants is not fully moved out yet. He has a lot of crap still in the basement and there is a car (not in running condition) still in the garage but our awesome realtor is on the ball and already on the other realtor’s ass to make sure he is out by next Wednesday. After closing the first stop is home depot for new locks on all the doors!!!
I am concerned with all the work that is ahead of us now. A lot of painting and a lot of tile to rip up. Fred keeps hounding me that I am going to have to be OK with him not being home a lot because he will be out late at night working on the house and spending weekends on the house and blah blah. Which I know, it will be rough for a while, but if it gives us our dream house I feel it is worth it in the end. Plus I am also hoping that those who we have helped in the past will be willing to help us out a bit, to make things go faster. Our plan is to be done with the renovations and moving in by June. I think two months is a feasible time frame. Plus we plan on holding a big party for everyone once we move in. I know some people may think we are crazy for buying this place because the condition of the house. Maybe we are, but Fred enjoys a fixer upper (and I admit I do a little too) and working on projects. We’ve fixed up every house we’ve been in so far so why not buy a place for cheap that needs some work and fix it up exactly how we want it. We’ve looked at like maybe 30 houses and none of them had close to what we were looking for like this one does. The kitchen is huge, and we haven’t found another house that has a kitchen like this even in higher price ranges. The basement is finished just how we would do it with a room for my scrapbooking, an unfinished section for Fred’s workshop, and a huge space for the bar, big screen TV, and pool table. It’s so close to perfect (realized you will never find "perfect") it would be a shame not to take the opportunity.
Hoping it all works out!
March 14, 2008- Friday
Step 1: Contract Approved
Current mood: aggravated
So we finally got the phone call we’d been waiting for late Wednesday evening. We’ve spent the last 24 hours scheduling the inspection, finalizing the loan and deciding what to start on first once we own the house.
Unfortunately the owners (not the bank) are being incredibly difficult. When we looked at the house while it was on the market we weren’t able to get a good look at everything because they were physically there the whole time and the bedroom in the basement was locked and we couldn’t get into it to see what state it was in. So now that we are committing to this it seems natural and obvious that we would want a closer look at everything. Well the owner’s, who don’t live there anymore because the bank told them they had to be out at the end of last month, are being impossible by refusing to let us see the house until we have the inspection. WTF!!!! They don’t live there anymore; we aren’t interrupting their day or anything, so I don’t understand why they won’t let us see it. Speaking with our realtor just now she said they claim that they just moved out 3 days ago (WTF, again. They were supposed to be out two weeks ago!!!) and want to clean the place before we see it. Which makes no sense to me because they had no problem trashing the place and making sure it was a mess when everyone was walking through it when it was on the market. To describe the state of the house when we first saw it: the tile throughout the house was coming up so much we kept tripping on it, the carpet was so disgusting and stained it looks as if they took soda, and juice, and god knows what else and just dumped it on the floor and then never cleaned it up. This was every bit of the carpet throughout the entire house on all floors. My shoes were literally sticking to the carpet it was that nasty. Not to mention the dog poo on the deck and the smell and just crap thrown everywhere. Now they are claiming we can’t see it because it isn’t clean enough?!!! What a bunch of BULLSHIT!!! Fred and I feel that they are trying to hide something and that doesn’t make either of us feel good about the situation and it puts doubt into my head as to whether purchasing this house is the best thing. But I’m torn because it is the perfect space and setup and I know that Fred and I could fix it up to make it spectacular. But it is so frustrating. I don’t think that we are asking for anything unreasonable to see the house, what’s the big deal to let us see it unless they are hiding something. *Taking a deep breath* I guess we will have to wait till the home inspection and do a real good thorough walk through.
This whole situation just rubs me the wrong way and we can’t afford for anything to go wrong. We have to close by the end of the month or the rate shoots up and we can’t afford it anymore. I know buying a house is nerve racking in general but doing a short sale is 10x worse. I just want it all to be over with so we can fix up the place (hopefully with no snags or major stress) move in and relax.
Keep us in your prayers and know that we might be calling on you locals to help us out a bit. We’ll need all the help we can get.
March 12, 2008- Wednesday
So we got an update on the situation with our offer on the short sale. It has made it passed all senior management and is on the desk of the senior vice president and apparently he is the end all of this whole thing. So once we get his signature the painful process of waiting is over. But, god knows how long it will sit on his desk before he even looks at it, much less signs it. Oh vey!!!! We need to get the approval by Friday so we can close by the end of the month. Otherwise we cannot afford the house anymore. Why is this crap so nerve wracking and an impossible process? Can’t wait for it all to be over.
March 2, 2008- Sunday
Current mood: nervous
Some of you know this already but for those who don't, Fred and I have been house hunting for the last few months. We lost the first two houses we wanted already (which was so hard for us to believe in this market) and it was little heartbreaking. Finally we found another we would be happy with. It is a total fixer upper, but for those who know Fred, it's perfect for us. It's in the lower end of our price range so we can afford to put a lot of money into it, which it needs. Unfortunately it is a short sale (this is what happens right before you go into foreclosure. It is the sellers last hope to sell the place before they get foreclosed on) so we have to wait for the bank to approve our offer (ie: the price) because it is their ass who is losing out on the deal. So it's been almost a week since we submitted the contract and I am dying to know if they approved it. But we were told it would take 7-10 days so guessing we won't find out till sometime next week! That is two weeks of having to wait on pins and needles!!!! It is absolutely killing me!!!!! So the house is in Ashburn, in a good location close to a lot of things and in the middle of everything. The bad thing, we will be leaving my beloved Leesburg (I have fallen in love with this cute little town over the past four years) and this house I love so much. So many memories. We were married in Leesburg while living in this house, we had our first baby living here, and Zeke lived and died in this house. It means a lot us. But we are running out of room (wanting to have another baby) and know we had to eventually leave this place. The good news is that we will be closer to my parents and most of our friends (so maybe our friends who live in the Herndon/Centreville area will come visit our house more often *hint, hint*) as well as Mason's gym, my hair salon, the doctor's office, and friends’ work. So anyway, we are in limbo right now hoping to get this place and thinking about all the work we have ahead of us before moving in. But I'm sure it will be good, and sometimes you need a change in life; even if you love where your life is at the moment.
Did you hear yet did you hear yet?!?!
February 18, 2008- Monday
Oh the joys of motherhood continue
Current mood: exhausted
So my induction into motherhood continues. Imagine this...
Mason is playing in the living room while periodically eating animal crackers and downing milk from his sippy cup. I am sitting on the couch munching on some goldfish to make up for the lack of lunch and trying to enjoy a little bit of television. Mason heads my way and I start to smell something foul. Sniff, Sniff. "Sweetie do you need a diaper change?" He looks up at me, and smiles. I then pick him up and say, "let's change your diaper you smell stinky poo poo." So I head up the stairs with him and notice in the huge mirror at the top of the stairs that there is poo on Mason's back. Oh crap! (No pun intended) It's one of those horrible poopy diapers. Damn it. I hurriedly climb the remaining stairs and carefully place him on the changing table and start to wipe off his back. I then prepare to take of his shirt when I hear the doorbell ring. I quickly look out the window to see who it is. My neighbors. "What the hell do they want," I wonder. Then I realize that it's the Girl Scout cookies. I can't ignore them because I desperately want my thin mints I ordered a month ago. So I place Mason down on the floor, close the gate to the stairs and dash down the stairs as fast as I can. Sure enough it is the cookies and I realize I still have to pay for them. Shit. I run into the kitchen to grab the checkbook. By the time I make it back to the door Mason is starting to cry. I can hear him at the top of the stairs. I frantically, and I'm sure I looked and acted a bit frazzled, wrote the check, took the cookies and told them to have a good day. As I was closing the door I heard one of the girls exclaim something that I realized later was "ooh, gross!" Why do I know this? Well as I head up the stairs I pick Mason back up but notice something wet and realize he has poo on his hands. Disgusting!! As I put him down and step back I see it is on his sleeve. Jesus, how did it get on his sleeve? I rush us back into the nursery and trying not to get poo everywhere, remove Mason's shirt and throw in the laundry. As I start to remove his pant I notice a big clumpy spot of poo on my sleeve. Oh god! Did I really just answer the door with nasty baby poo all over my shirtsleeve? Totally embarrassed I rip off my shirt and wipe it down before returning to Mason removing his pants and diaper, wiping as much poo into it as possible. I turn to put the diaper in the diaper champ. When I turn back around Mason, poopy butt and all, is sitting on the floor (rather his cute accent rug). "Mason!" I scream, and snatch him up. Staring at the big poo stain now in the middle of the rug, I let out the biggest sigh of the day, close my eyes and take a deep breath. I then proceed to pick him up and wipe what is left on his butt, put on a new diaper and find some clean clothes to put him in. They don't match because I am behind on laundry but who cares, he sure doesn't. After he is all clean, I get down on my hands and knees to clean the poo off the carpet, grab a new shirt for me, and head to the basement to do the much needed laundry.
Now I am trying to relax again while Mason whines for more juice and some cheese and think to myself, "Isn't motherhood grand?"
February 14, 2008- Thursday
I knew it! My miracle didn't happen
Current mood: diappointed
I knew if we waited to long we wouldn't get the house and now there is a contract on both houses we were interested in. Bummer!! In case it wasn't obvious we're in the market for a new home. We found this house we absolutely loved in the neighborhood next door and now it's under contract. Guess we will have to wait till the summer and see what comes on the market then. This is really putting a damper on my timeline of expanding our family. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!
It's ok! You'll find a better one! Oh wait, you already did! :)
Poor Rach, I know the home buying process can be long and arduous and full of pitfalls. We came in too late on 3 houses that we really wanted before we got this one. Sometimes I still drive by the others and think "what if?" But we really love this house and I think it is the one we were meant to get. Just keep your chin up, it'll all work out in the end!
January 20, 2008- Sunday
OMG I did what I swore I would never do!
Current mood: exhausted
I BOUGHT A MINIVAN!!! OMG can you believe it!!!! I had planned on going out this weekend to purchase a crossover, Toyota Highlander but ended up hating it. Just on a whim I said O.K. lets test drive the Sienna. Surprisingly it wasn't like I thought it would be and was nice to dive. So just for comparison I also test-drove the Honda Oddessy and Chrysler Town and Country. The Chrysler was horrible. The Honda was a smooth drive and pretty nice. It was almost identical to the Sienna. So knowing I was running out of room in the Rav 4 and with us discussing having a second child I caved and said sure lets get a mini van. So today we decided on the Honda Oddessy. It's gonna take a while to get used to, but I have to say with having a kid it is very convenient. I'm a little sad though. I feel I have lost the "cool mom" persona. I have joined the club of the "soccer moms" as Fred likes to call it. I feel old and frumpy (sorry to all those who have a mini van, no offense) its just there is a certain persona attached to the mini van and I never saw my self as that type of a person. Not that I am saying I am, I by no means see myself as the frumpy old mom. But I guess as everyone said it was "inevitable". Just need to spend some time in mourning. My "coolness" is gone. :-( Well at least I can say I've got one the most adorable kids on the planet (suppose that makes up for it a little bit).
NOOOOOOOO! You caved! LOL!
NONE OF US ARE "THAT TYPE OF PERSON"!! I don't think many people say "I hope I get to drive a minivan one day!" But it is convienient! Enjoy and congrats! Hey you could always have flames painted accross it like my husband keeps threatening to do to ours!!
December 28, 2007- Friday
My poor baby boy
Current mood: cranky
We spent the morning in the ER. Mason had a lot of trouble breathing last night and has a barking cough. Yes, it's croup. Good lord, why this now. He is in good spirits despite but when I hear my little boy cough or struggle to breathe especially when sleeping it just breaks my heart because it's not like there is much I can do. I hate hearing him suffer; it breaks my heart. And every time I hear him struggle to breathe I can't seem to find oxygen myself. I wish the doctors could give me more advice on what to do for him to make him better. I feel helpless. To make matters worse, Fred and I are sick as well. Fred's been having a bad cough and sore throat for a while now but I just started getting a sore throat last night and now have complete sinus congestion and pressure. If it's not a migraine it's a freaking sinus headache (boy do I get a break ever!?) so being under the weather and trying to keep up my "mommy" duties to Mason who is also not feeling his best has been such an energy drainer and a challenge. Can't wait till we all get better and I can have a day off to just sleep!
December 22, 2007- Saturday
Santa was here
So we had our photo shoot with Santa (a.k.a. Grandpa, for those who don't know my family or never met my dad). It went well, though I have to say way more awesome to have Santa in the family (if you know what I mean) than wait in the ridiculously long lines and buy and overpriced picture of my kid screaming his guts out with some stranger at the mall. This was the result! So cute! (of course my awesome photography skills and training in portrait photography had a lot to do with it.)
[PICTURES HAVE SINCE BEEN REMOVED FROM MYSPACE. WORKING ON FIGURING OUT WHICH PICTURES WERE ORIGINALLY INCLUDED.]
Compare to these photos with Santa last year. Boy don't they grow up too fast?
December 10, 2007- Monday
NO MORE DRAMA!!!
Current mood: annoyed
Mary J Blige - No More Drama Lyrics
So tired, tired of all this drama,
You go your way, I'll go mine
I need to be free
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
No more pain
No more pain
No more pain
No more pain
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again
Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Maybe I like this best
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't want to cry no more
No more pain
No more pain
No more pain
No more game
No more games messing with my mind
No more drama in my life
No ones gonna make me hurt again
No more tears
No more tears
I'm tired of crying every night
No more fears
No more fears
I really don't wanna cry
No more drama in my life
I don't ever want to hurt again
I wanna speak my mind
Wann speak my mind
Oooh it feels so good
When you let go of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So try for happiness
I don't know
Only god knows where the story ends, for me
But I know where the story begins
Its up to us to choose
Wether we win or loose
And I choose to win
No more pain
No more pain
No more pain
No more game
I'm tired of you playing games with my mind
No more drama in my life
No more tears
No more tears
No more crying every night
No more fears
No more waking me up in the morning
With your disturbing phone calls
Leave me alone
No more in my life
No more pain
No more game
No more game
I'm tired, so tired
No more in my life
No more drama
No more drama
No more drama
No more drama
December 7, 2007- Friday
Sometimes it hits the fan hard
Current mood: betrayed
We've all been through this. Be honest, you know you have, c'mon admit it. You know when "it" hits the fan and you feel like nothing is going right. Then you find yourself wondering if it can get any worse and then it does? This is my life over the past week. It all started with my best friends wedding that never happened. After me and my sister spent a combined amount of $1,000+ and put a lot of precious time into helping this wedding happen it is called off at the last minute. Now, yeah it sucks that we are out a crap load of money but that didn't bother me as much finding out I had been lied to about the whole situation. Turns out she didn't want to get married and had been questioning it for over a month before the day arrived. But does she come to her best friends, no. She decides to deal with it in the arm of another man (but continue the plans of the wedding not letting on to any of us that she is rethinking her decision). I find out days after the wedding is called of and that it all started BEFORE we went shopping for the dresses (spending the big bucks) and running around putting our lives on hold for her. So we in our generous nature, going above and beyond what any friend would do, end up getting used. She shows her thanks and appreciation by spitting on our friendship and betraying our ultimate trust. And does she have the decency to admit that how she handled it all was immature and rude and offer her apologies? No. So now during the holiday I am stuck trying to figure out how to get the money back, selling the dresses; playing catch up with chores and bills; and trying to make up all the lost time to my son and husband. Plus I've been dragged into this whole "he said, she said" BS and I feel like it's one big soap opera and I'm wondering why I've let this crap into my life again. There was a reason I grew up. I have real problems to deal with these days; like raising a child and paying bills. I can't be the go between with two people who refuse to work out their issues like adults. So I had to do the hard thing, being the only adult, and take myself out of the equation. It hurts that I have lost a best friend. To think that after 20 years of friendship, she would take advantage of my generosity and lie straight to my face and not understand exactly what she did wrong.
Then after all of this, while feeding my son his breakfast, I run into his highchair banging (stubbing my toe, or so I thought) my foot. It took all my strength not to cry or curse out loud. I figured it would stop hurting in a bit like always. Not the case. A couple of hours later it was still throbbing and I finally took a look at it. Horribly black and blue all over and swollen. It is disgusting! I actually think it might be broken (or pretty darn close to being broken). I can't walk that well, wearing shoes hurts like an SOB and it is extremely sensitive to the touch. Just great, I have managed to disable myself just in time for the holidays, when there is so much to be done.
It's just one of those times...I got an email the other day about what we learn as we mature. Here are the things I have learned:
That no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses;
Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly;
You shouldn't compare yourself to others-they are more screwed up than you think.
Now finally I get some truth!!!
Okay I am going to play devil's advocate here so don't hate me too much for it. I think a lot of people have doubts and misgivings about getting married and the whole wedding planning process is incredibly stressful and hard, not making things any easier. There is a chance that had your friend voiced her concerns, anyone she told would have told her to blow it off as cold feet. I think it is immature to agree to a marriage in the first place that you are not 100% sure about but I do think it had to take a lot of guts and maturity to call it off before actually going through with something that she knew was not right. It's better to waste money and upset a few people than to break vows and wind up in divorce. Imagine how hard that had to have been for her to disappoint everyone including herself. I don't know the whole situation or what lies she told you but she was probably just trying (unsuccessfully) to make a very hard situation a little easier. I understand your frustration and I definitely agree that you should not be moderating for them, but maybe give your friend some time to reflect and she may at some point offer you an apology when her emotions are not in such turmoil. Remember Rach, you are a good friend and good friends are like boomerangs even when thrown hard they will eventually come back. And you you are not a good friend then you are just a stick in the mud (ha ha!)
ps sorry about your foot, I have done the high chair-silent cursing dance before too, IT SUCKS!!! I hope your foot feels better soon!!
AMEN SISTA! That's all I gotta say. Amen.
October 28, 2007- Sunday
Current mood: in need of coffee
My nights these days consist of making sure Mason isn't getting into too much trouble then giving him a bath and putting him to bed. Usually that is around 7:30pm or so, then Fred and I get some alone time to curl up on the couch and watch a movie or one of our TV shows or whatever. I know it sounds boring but it's become my norm and I enjoy it. A testament as to why I love it so much happened this past Friday while playing with Mason on the floor before bedtime. I was watching Mason stack his blocks; Fred was on the couch getting ready for his flight the following day. Flipping through his maps he realized he needed something, so he got up from the couch and walked over to the side with the wall and leaned over to look through the stuff on the floor. Mason saw this and he got up and walked over to Fred and in being curious as to what daddy was doing he leaned over the pillows on the floor, blocking the way to the wall so Mason couldn't get over there. As I am watching this I laugh. My two boys leaning over the couch side by side. What a site it was. I wished I had my camera because it was one of those moments you want to remember. The every day things, that usually get overlooked. This one is going in the scrapbook, photo or not.
October 16, 2007- Tuesday
Current mood: peaceful
Wow so this past Saturday was my 10-year high school reunion. Where has the time gone? Do you ever feel like life is just flying by and that somewhere along the way you blinked and just like that you are almost thirty? So here is my take on the experience 10 years older, wiser, and maybe a bit more mature.
As I was getting that evening I wasn't sure how I'd feel being in a room with all these people again. Feelings of inadequacy came rushing back. I wasn't exactly the coolest, smartest, best-looking, or even the nicest person in high school. I spent those four years always feeling and thinking I was never good enough. Which I am sad to say has haunted me even to adulthood. I kept asking myself, did I really want to face all of that again? But I knew that if I didn't show up I would regret the decision, years or maybe months later. So I sucked in my post pregnancy belly as best I could, put on a happy face and walked out the door. An hour later as I stood in the massive foyer of the Reston Hyatt, with my husband and best friend, I began to feel nervous, not quite sure of what to expect. We climbed the steps to the upper level rounding the corner and there in the distance I saw a woman with red hair in a white dress, Erin Pauling. This is it, no turning back now. Arriving at the desk to get my nametag, with my senior year photo plastered for all to see, we made some quick hellos and headed for the bar. If I was going to face everyone I wanted to feel at least a little bit brave. I was hoping I could show the class of '97 that I was a different person now than in high school, that I had actually made something of myself. But deep down I was afraid everyone would show me up and be far more successful in their lives. As the night settled in, so did the crowds of my former classmates of Herndon High. I saw old friends and enemies and a few I swore did not go to our school. I met husbands and wives and saw pictures of kids and heard stories of weddings and careers. Reconnecting with my past made me realize that there are some things I was still holding onto, like the idea of "popularity." People who were considered "popular" and who I had never really talked to in high school surprised me by being excited to see me after all this time, greeting me with smiles and a hug. I half expected all of them to ignore me, the notion of popularity still existing. But it didn't. Once I really thought about it, it was stupid. Who was I trying to impress? We are in the real world now. I am in a completely different part of my life, older, wiser and little bit more mature. If there is one thing I have learned it's that you can't live in the past. Those days are gone and while it's nice to visit old memories every so often it's important for us to move on, so we can grow into ourselves. We can't become who we are meant to be while still holding on to things we can never change. So I partied on that dance floor not caring who was staring at me or snickering in the background (cause even if I had grown up there were still those who clung to their high school persona and like moths to a flame they were huddled in their clicks all night) and had an awesome time. Probably too much of a good time. I am feeling the aftermath and its days later. I know now that I am not cut out for partying till all hours anymore, nor am I equipped to handle high heels. As the night came to a close I said my good-byes and walked away with a smile and thought to myself, well you survived your reunion after all. This night, everything seemed to have disappeared. I no longer had that hatred in my heart for those I despised or even those I was once very close to, and had a falling out with along the way to adulthood. It was just, "this is me now and remember back then" accompanied with laughter and awe. I walked away from it feeling grateful that I went, but also knowing that I don't need to relive my past every 10 years (sorry no more reunions for me, unless it is Marching Band). I got what I came for; closure from a time that is gone, and a person that is no longer me.
Nicely said. if it's any consolation - I really felt exactly the same way. All the nerves beforehand, the relief being there and having fun, and also that feeling from some people that still seemed to look down on me from their tight clique. But you are so right about it all - many people have grown, and I’m sure that you and I are both all the better and happier for it in our lives today!!!
Posted by Dharma on October 22, 2007 - Monday - 12:45 PM
October 12, 2007- Friday
My silly little boy
This was the scene at my house the other day. Mason frequently and daily loves to dive head first into his toy bin and pull out all the toys he can find throwing them on the floor. Typical baby behavior of course. But this time he decided to just get all the way in the bin and chill there for a while. I thought it was too funny not to document so naturally I grabbed my camera and took a few pics. He just gets cuter, and funnier with each passing day. I can't wait until he starts to really talk; I think that's when his hilarious personality will really shine.
October 7, 2007- Sunday
Current mood: ecstatic
Yesterday was Mason's first time at the petting zoo. It was so great to hear him giggling at all the animals and having such a big grin on his face. Here are a few highlights of the day.
There is this really cool place about 2 min. down the road from our house on Route 15. Every year they have Pumpkinville in the fall. It is totally awesome. They have a petting zoo, fully equipped with sheep, donkeys, pigs, ponies, camels and tigers!! Plus they have a hayride along with pony and camel rides for the kids. They have pumpkin painting, three moon bounces, a huge slide, and a farmers market. What more could you ask for? While we had a great time. Mason was still pretty young, but you bet we will be there again next year, and Mason can really have some fun!
September 25, 2007- Tuesday
Having a baby really does change everything...
Current mood: determined
...and for the good. Isn't it wonderful when you could be having one of the worst days but then your little one will just give you one smile, one giggle, or one word "mama," and somehow everything is perfect? I LOVE IT!!!!
Right now Mason is head first in his toy bin, throwing toys everywhere in the family room and it doesn't bother me. In fact I find it quite funny and cute. This would have infuriated me before to see such a mess being made day after day, and having to clean it up day after day. But it's just one of things that comes with having kids and as long has he's having fun and learning it's well worth the extra effort to clean every night. In fact I have to admit that our house is much cleaner and more sanitized now that we have a baby. Having Mason has made me more focused on keeping things clean on a daily basis. I don't think the carpet has been vacuumed as much in the three years we've lived here than in the last 10 months with Mason. I know you are probably thinking, we gross, how could we live like that. Well I'm just not the "Susie Homemaker type." I hate cleaning. I probably still don't have it as clean as it should be in this house, but as any stay at home parent knows, there is only so much you can get done with a kid around. But you do what you can and move on. It's funny how my morning used to be spent getting up early, taking a shower, primping, picking out a snazy outfit and then spending an hour in traffic just to get to a mundane job that was semi enjoyable. Now my mornings are spent in my p.j's watching the news, feeding my son and playing with him till he gets cranky enough to go down for a nap. Then I have just enough time to take a shower and pick out a comfortable outfit or do some cleaning that isn't noisy and catch up on email or possibly catch a few zzzz for myself. I never imagined my life would be like this; always having to think twice: once for myself and once for my son, that a simple little tear would cause me so much pain, or that the smallest step would give me so much pride. I never imagined that I could learn so much about love and life from a little baby boy or that it isn't the big things, but the little things that can mean enough. And I definitely never imagined I'd LOVE IT as much as I do. I read a quote once that said, "Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion and sorrow, too. Nothing else will ever make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired..." Ain't that the truth! Being a mom is the most serious and important position I've ever, or will ever have.
Right now, Mason has been really sick the last couple of days, running a low-grade fever. His cold just kept getting worse so we had to go to the dr's and they put him on amoxicillin. He was able to sleep a full night last night (which meant I got a pretty good night's sleep). His temp last night was 99.5 (my poor baby) but it's down to 98.0 this morning. These days he is really getting a handle on this waving. Yesterday he was waving to just about everyone. He also is a big flirt. He was flirting with this little girl at lunch (she was probably 8 or 9 years old). He's not even a year and already he's working it. That's my boy!! He also maneuvers his walking cart pretty well around walls and couches and plowing through just about any obstacle. How fearless children are, how they play and live with reckless abandon and love unconditionally.
I leave you all with this thought: look at your children or someone else's and see how fully they live life without fear and challenge yourself to learn from this freedom and live one moment to its fullest, NO FEAR! You may be surprised by the result.
September 16, 2007- Sunday
Current mood: ecstatic
It is 7:30pm and here I am on my computer, which these days is quite often. Mason is standing by the loveseat staring at Fred. Yes, he is up past his bedtime, but he had a late nap due to his morning nap being interrupted by the phone. Out of the corner of my eye I am watching Mason and I see him look at me and smile. Then I see him let go and head towards me. Fred yells, "are you watching this?!" Still watching out of the corner of my eye, he takes a few steps and walks from the loveseat to the couch, where I am seated. Not holding onto anything. "Did he just take his first steps and I miss it?" I asked. So for the next 30 minutes we grab the video camera and attempt to get him to repeat the momentous moment. Success! We actually have proof that he can stand very well on his own and take a few independent steps. What a proud parent moment!!!! My baby boy is growing up.
More baby steps are happening around here, but in the case of my father. He was transferred to INOVA Mount Vernon Hospital for rehabilitation this past Wednesday and from what I understand it is one of the best facilities. Fred and I went to visit him today to see his progress and to give him some company. He told us that on Friday morning during therapy he was able to take a few steps and then he lifted up his left leg and wiggled his toes. Yesterday he was able to put his full weight on both legs and the best part was him showing us how he could lift up his arm and hand. One therapist was even hopeful that when he leaves the hospital in two weeks that he will be able to walk with a cane. This is such great news for all of us and gives us so much hope. I am feeling more positive now about my father and not scared so much. He was looking so good today and it eased my worrying a little. It was also great to hear all the people who have called him or visited him in the hospital. I really think it helps to have the knowledge that he is loved by so many. Thanks to everyone who has sent their best wishes and put my Father in their prayers. Will keep you posted on his progress.
September 16, 2007- Sunday
My Fall Top 10
Current mood: thankful
So it is finally becoming Fall, my favorite season! I love everything about Fall and all that it brings. I wish it could be Fall all year long. Here are a few of my favorite things about the season.
1. All the beautiful rich colors
2. Perfect weather. It's not too hot or too cold
3. Football season. GO SKINS!
4. Mason was born
5. Halloween and Thanksgiving
6. Pumpkin Spice lattes at Starbucks
7. Jumping in piles of leaves
8. The excitement of a new school year
9. Motorcycle rides
10. Fred proposed
September 11, 2007- Tuesday
Current mood: worried
My Father had a stroke Sunday night. It still scares me and brings me to tears when I say it. He woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't feel or move his left side. He finally got feeling back into his leg but still cannot move his arm. They gave him a CATSCAN and it showed that he had suffered previous mini strokes but were unaware of them. Fred and I visited him at the hospital yesterday. Mason wasn't allowed in the room so he and Fred hung out in the waiting area. He is in better spirits than I expected. Had an MRI done yesterday, to try to figure out where the clot is. Have not received the results yet as far as I know. I fear they will not be able to figure out what is causing the strokes and he will have another on in the future that will either be fatal, or leave him in a vegetative state. It was hard to me to see my dad in the hospital again. I feel like a little girl, in second grade, sitting on the stairs in the middle of the night, swarms of paramedics in the house doing things to my dad I didn't understand. One kind paramedic trying to explain what they were doing to calm the fears of a seven year old. He had suffered a terrifying episode of congestive heart failure. Sitting in the hospital room the next day, looking at my dad laying in the bed, vulnerable, it was the first time I realized my father wasn't indestructible. I believe this might have been when I developed a hatred for the smell of hospitals, therefore causing me to fear them. I still hate that hospital smell.
For years, I worried my father would not live long enough to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, but two years ago he did and I cherish every second of that moment. Now I worry that my son will not get the chance to know his Grandfather. My Mom's Father died when I was around two or three years old. My Dad's Father had two strokes and was unable to function well or talk, the whole left side of his face paralyzed, by the time I remember meeting him around age 9. So I never got to know either of my Grandfathers. I do not want this for my son. I know my Dad is getting old and things happen when your body ages, but I am not prepared to say good-bye. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my Father these last few years and as a result he hasn't seen much of Mason either. I haven't told him lately that I love him and as I left the his hospital room, I couldn't help but get a pang of guilt that I didn't say I love you before walking out. What if that was the last conversation I ever have with him? I hate thinking this way, I so desperately want to be hopeful and positive but I ahve seen too much of death lately. Four friends, my cat, my Grandmother...I'm scared. My Father has meant so much to me. He is loving and understanding, and very supportive. He has taught me many things over the years and is always willing to listen when I need to talk. He has offered comfort, help and a new perspective when needed. He has welcomed Fred into our family with open arms and showed what it means to be a great parent. I pray every minute that I don't lose him.
August 31, 2007- Friday
Current mood: drained
So this blog thing seems to be the newest phenomenon, so I thought I'd give it a try.
This week has been tough for me. Mostly it has been a test of my strength, emotionally and otherwise. Most people probably don't know the story of me ending up in the hospital this past June. It was probably the most terrifying moment thus far. I have always had problems with re-occuring headaches and have had my share of muscle strains in my neck (slept on it wrong, carrying too heavy of a back pack, etc.), but this was different. I'd been having this head pain, not a headache, but a pain that would start in the back of my head, where it meets the neck, and would then over time radiate up the back and into the top of my head. It was this throbbing pain, kinda like when you hang upside down for too long and all the blood rushes to your head, and it had been going on for almost a week by the time I made it to the doctors. Of course, they couldn't make a clear diagnosis. The only thing she figured was that it was stress due to being a new mom. Her treatment: take Advil and put ice on it every night for 20 minutes.
Well that didn't work. The pain continued, and the morning of June 11th will be one I'll never forget. It started out as normal. Woke up, got Mason, went down to feed him. While preparing his cereal I started to feel funny. I felt really hot, almost sweating, and dizzy. I shook it off as just being overly tired from lack of sleep due to having a seven month old. Then the whole left side of my body had a shooting pain run through it (and feel almost numb for a few seconds). I decided to sit down, take a moment and feed my son. Then I got very weak, my hands were shaking really bad and I felt two seconds away from passing out. Luckily Fred was still home and I screamed for him. He came downstairs and at this point I couldn't get out of the chair, much less move, and feeling horrible. I was starting to panic. Fred picked me up and laid me down on the floor and immediately things got worse. The pain in my head became excruciating. Fred quickly got Mason in his car seat as I laid screaming on the floor, before carrying me out to the car and racing out of the neighborhood. Shortly after, we hit rush hour traffic and I was feeling dizzy again with a side of nausea. I started throwing up uncontrollably, in my car, and that is when we spotted the cop, flagged him down and got a police escort to the hospital. By the time we arrived I couldn't feel my body, was totally numb and basically incoherent. I couldn't stand on my own, requiring a wheel chair, and seriously scared. I don't remember too much after this point, just hearing the check in nurse asking some questions and unable to respond, then some voices talking about getting test and giving me medication. I remember them asking if I was OK to get the CATSCAN and trying so hard to say yes but nothing coming out. Being wheeled into the hallway on a bed was the last thing I remember before waking up in my room and hearing the doctor come in and say something to Fred. I remember being so tired and just wanting to sleep. I must have because I woke up and it was hours later and I was feeling much better. The doctor came in and said I looked better, compared to looking like death when I first came in, thinking I had meningitis at first. He joked that I had a brain when discussing the results of the test with us. He suggested a diagnosis of migraines and recommended I see a neurologist. In the meantime I was given a prescription for Vicodin and an anti nausea.
So to make a really long story a bit shorter, we still left for our trip to Spokane, Washington a few days later. I felt hot, dizzy and nauseous on the plane ride. Shaky hands and trying to hold it together in order to rent a car to get to the hotel. Once checked in I got desperately ill, throwing up pretty much the rest of the evening. After that episode I realized the anti-nausea meds don't work on me and that in order to get the pain under control, in order to function, I had to be taking the Vicodin every 4 hours. This was clearly a problem and once home it was off to the neurologist. He put me on Pamelor for the headaches (which are pretty much gone now) and recommended that I either take a muscle relaxer (great more meds) or get physical therapy for my head pain, which he thinks is related to me carrying a 21+lb. child around. So it hasn't been fixed and we are now heading into September.
Back to this week. My head pain has been getting progressively worse again. I don't know what to do and I can't get it to go away (no more Vicodin left). I'm terrified that I will end up in the hospital again and no one can tell me what is wrong. I broke down on Wednesday because I not only was having head pain but got a really bad migraine headache on top of it and was feeling nauseous and dizzy. Feeling overwhelmed by all this crap just broke me down. On top of it all, my horrible heartburn (GERD) is coming back too. The last time I had this problem was in college. It was so bad, they thought I had asthma and put me on an inhaler for a while).
So I am sitting at the kitchen table crying my eyes out and look up. Mason, who has paused his drinking of his bottle is staring at me with this uncertain look on his face and as soon as he sees me looking at him a big smile spreads across his face. How can I be sad when I see this? Mason is the best thing to happen to me. But at the same time he is the worst because I didn't have this medical scare until after he was born and everyone thinks he is the culprit. I am torn because I so much enjoy being a SAHM and seeing Mason grow and learn everyday, but at the same time I want to be healthy.
Anyway, just the ramblings of an overly tired, stressed Mom.